Friday, August 31, 2007
Donnybrook Poll
I cannot offer as detailed a set of predictions as DrMasse because he knows so much more than I do when it comes to football. As do most of you. So I thought I'd ask:
1. Will the Raiders suck worse than the Lions this year? (Cause let's face it, they will both suck just like last year. Any nominees for a team that could be worse?)
2. Will Joe Gibbs lead the Foreskins to another losing season?
3. Will Andy Reid be able to keep his son's antics from distracting him and his team?
Update/Bonus Question: Will the Cowboys QB Romo be affected by the suspension of Cowboys QB coach (5 games) for using steroids? (how do steroids enhance the performance of a coach?)
It's Time For Business
It's business time. If you have not checked out Flight of the Conchords, you owe it to yourself to remedy that situation. This YouTube clip is a scream.
Tom Tancredo: Voice of the Republican psyche?
You be the judge:
GOP presidential hopeful Rep. Tom Tancredo (Colo.) said Friday it is "time the taxpayer gravy train left the New Orleans station" and urged an end to the federal aid to the region that was devastated by Hurricane Katrina two years ago.Plenty of GOP'ers think like this, they just don't say it out loud...
"The amount of money that has been wasted on these so-called ‘recovery’ efforts has been mind-boggling," said Tancredo, who is running a long-shot presidential campaign. "Enough is enough."
R.I.P. Michael Jackson
The beer hunter died at home in London. He spread the word about good beer (and whisky) and helped to pave the way for the beer renaissance we have seen over the last twenty years.
At the Heart of Many Anti-Immigrationists' Emotions
I expect to hear indignant denials, from those who say they only object to the immigrants' "illegal" status. Right. This doesn't just exist in Colorado, it's nationwide in the anti-immigrant sentiment.
Who Would Undertake the Overhaul?
I can't believe that General Jones, former EUCOM commander, would think there is any way to "start over" with the Iraqi police force. Many of the Iraqi police are simply militia members who also have police uniforms. The Iraq Security Forces - the Iraqi military - is better, but not by a lot.
What better way to start a holiday weekend...
...than to take a quick trip down the "Holiday Road"?
Until 5 minutes ago, I didn't even know this video existed, now I'm dumbfounded as to why a guy named Lindsey would ever wear that much damn make-up...
John, please tell me that this is going to happen...
So help me God, if you wind up with Mark Warner and Jim Webb as your Senators while I'm stuck with Liddy "The Mask" Dole and Richard "The Invisible Man" Burr, I'll go apeshit...
Sen. John Warner will announce tomorrow at the University of Virginia whether or not he intends to seek a sixth term, according to two top Virginia sources. Warner is planning a 2 p.m. news conference on the grounds of the Charlottesville, Va., school, where he took his law degree over 50 years ago. The Virginian will give his speech near the statue of Thomas Jefferson on the steps of the school’s famous Rotunda, adding a fitting Warner flourish to the event.Oh man, I'm jealous...
UPDATE: It's official, Sen. Warner will not run for a 6th Senate term...
Direct from the "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" file...
New NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has referred to the NFL's logo as the "envy of the sports world."
So naturally, he's decided it's time to overhaul it for the 2008 season.
You decide if it's a good move. I say "hell no"...
UPDATE: Here's a terrific idea from one of the guys at UniWatch: Use the new design, but stick with the old font.
Now, that's classy...
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Screw the rest of the morality police, too...
Here's a hilarious clip from "Family Guy" that vividly explains my feelings about the FCC and moronic groups like the Parents Television Council and Focus on the Family...
New GOP rationale for endless war in Iraq: $9 GASOLINE!!!
Seriously. A Republican congressman from Nevada is claiming that following the will of the American people by leaving Iraq would lead to $9 gasoline in the U.S.
Gasoline prices could rise to about $9 per gallon if the United States withdraws troops from Iraq prematurely, Rep. Jon Porter said he was told on a trip to Iraq that ended this week.In the absence of good news, the Republican party just makes shit up.
The Nevada Republican, who returned Tuesday from his fourth trip to Iraq, met with U.S. Army Gen. David Petraeus, U.S. Ambassador Ryan Crocker, Iraqi Deputy President Tariq al-Hashimi and Iraqi Deputy Prime Minister Barham Saleh.
"To a person, they said there would be genocide, gas prices in the U.S. would rise to eight or nine dollars a gallon, al-Qaida would continue its expansion, and Iran would take over that portion of the world if we leave," Porter said Wednesday in a phone interview from Las Vegas.
Porter did not elaborate on the assessment that gasoline prices could spike. His spokesman, Matt Leffingwell, said afterward that the scenario "makes sense if Iran moves into Iraq."
Scumbags...
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
If Sadr Really Controls the Mahdi Army
His call for a six-month stand-down by his Shia militias will do more than the "surge" ever could to drop the level of violence. He does not control the Badr brigades, but the Mahdi is a bigger force. But it's splintered. Sadr needs time to consolodate power (read: assasinate the worst of his rivals, bribe the least of them, and trade favors with the rest.) He's no friend of America, but we should hope he can make this stick. The chaos brought on by an internal Shia struggle would be far worse than what we have now. If Sadr's call for a time-out fails, we will find ourselves unable to support the Shia we put into power and siding with the Sunni Ba'athists we threw out, even if a few faces have changed. How is America better for having gone into Iraq? How is it better off staying?
Tucker Carlson: Tough guy, gay-basher, all-around douchebag...
He's such a tough guy, in fact, he had to get a friend to help him rough up a gay dude who "bothered" him in a public restroom.
Check out the story here.
P.S. Try to be fair to Tucker. It's gotta be tough living in a world where you're the only person older than 5 and younger than 93 to be known solely for wearing a bowtie...
P.P.S. On second thought, fuck this homophobic dork. He tries to be funny in the exact same way that so many other right-wing hacks who still want to seem hip and cool do.
Just a smug, smarmy, self-righteous, and legitimately unfunny geek who laughs the loudest at his own jokes.
In other words, he's a conservative...
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
NFL All-Decade Team
I'm supposed to writing/doing research for a book I'm working on but darn if I don't feel like doing that right now. So in a titanic waste of time, I decided to make up my All-Decade NFL Team entering the 2007 season. Away we go...
QB: Tom Brady, Patriots: Brady edges out Manning via his impeccable play in the clutch in leading the Patriots to three Super Bowls and also leading the Patriots to upsets over the AFC's top-seeded team three times in six seasons. I know you guys know I don't like Manning but I admit the guy is outstanding. I just like Brady in this slot a little more because of what he has helped the Patriots accomplish and for his sterling 12-2 playoff record.
RB: LaDainian Tomlinson, Chargers: As usual the instant historians wanted to crown LT as the best ever last year. He might someday be but for now let's just call him what he is and that's the best running back to play this decade.
RB: Shaun Alexander, Seahawks: Mr. Consistency. Before getting hurt last year this guy (I don't have the stats in front of me like I did earlier, but he had something like over 1300 yards and at least 16 touchdowns for about five straight years. Marshall Faulk and Priest Holmes were amazing for three years but Alexander's consistency earns him the spot.
WR: Marvin Harrison, Colts: It's ludicrous to compare this guy to Jerry Rice (see a post I made last January for why) but the guy is a lock for 1,100 yards or more and more than 10 touchdowns every year. He's a future Hall of Famer and the best to play the position this decade.
WR: Torry Holt, Rams: Holt edges out T.O. I think T.O. should be the best receiver this decade because his talent is freakish but I give the nod to Harrison and Holt because not only do they put up great numbers but they also do not hurt their teams the way T.O. has in the past with the Niners in 2003 and the Eagles in 2005 and to a certain extent the Cowboys last year. Look at Holt's numbers and he's kind of like Harrison-Lite.
TE: Tony Gonzalez, Chiefs: One of the best to ever play his position and he created the new age tight end a la Antonio Gates.
OL: Jonathan Ogden, Ravens: A beast who's headed to Canton.
OL: Larry Allen, Cowboys, 49ERS: Maybe one of the best linemen to ever play the game and one of the strongest...benches about 650 pounds I read.
OL: Orlando Pace, Rams: This guy should have received more Heisman consideration in college but linemen don't get the credit they deserve. Anyway, think of some of the outstanding Rams offenses this decade and then watch Pace play and it's easy to see one of the reasons they were so good.
OL: Willie Roaf, Saints, Chiefs: A model of consistency, Roaf was a huge reason Priest Holmes and Larry Johnson had the success they did.
OL: Walter Jones, Seahawks: Edges out Will Shields and Alan Faneca for the final spot. A monster on his side, he was possibly the biggest reason Alexander had the monster season he had in 2005. Run to his side and you have a chance to gain nice yardage every time.
DL: Jason Taylor, Dolphins: He's outspoken but he can back it up. Outstanding pass rusher who has great speed and can create big plays that you usually don't see a lineman make.
DL: Warren Sapp, Buccaneers, Raiders: Sapp gets the nod more for what he did with the Bucs than with the Raiders but this guy was a monster for a while and could rush the passer with the best of them while also being outstanding against the run. Outstanding speed for a man his size. Bucs fortunes started changing when they drafted him and Derrick Brooks in 1995.
DL: Michael Strahan, Giants: Favre may have laid down literally to give him a bogus quarterback sack record in 2001 but that aside, the guy is one of the best pass rushers in NFL history and was one of the main reasons the Giants went to the super bowl in 2000 and won the division in 2005.
LB: Ray Lewis, Ravens: one of the best to ever play his position. Some instant historians were already crowning him THE best a few years ago but I still like Lawrence Taylor and Dick Butkus more. But this guy is a phenom who can do everything on the field.
LB: Derrick Brooks, Buccaneers: I love the way this guy plays and I think he is one of the most underrated players in NFL history. No doubt in my mind, he was the best player on the 2002 team that won the super bowl. I think he scored four touchdowns that year, including one in the super bowl, which is crazy. He's got a motor that doesn't quit and like Lewis, can do just about anything on the field.
LB: Brian Urlacher, Bears: Chicago has bred some outstanding linebackers over the years and Urlacher is now in that fraternity, helping spark the team's revival the last few years.
LB: Zach Thomas, Dolphins: Yup, good call scouts. He's definitely too slow to play in the NFL...eye roll. This guy being drafted in round five goes down as one of the great draft day steals. Six pro bowls later he's established himself as one of the league's best defensive players.
CB: Champ Bailey, Redskins, Broncos: Clinton Portis is a terrific running back but I still think the Broncos shafted the Skins because it's rare that you can have a corner who can shut down an entire side of the field and that's what Bailey can do. He seems to be getting better with age and quarterbacks throw to his side at their own peril.
CB: Ty Hall, Patriots, Jets, Chiefs: Hall is not as dominant as Bailey but he has been one of the league's top cover guys for a long time. He was so effective and physical that the Colts and Bill Polian had to cry after getting stomped by the Pats in the 2003 AFC title game. Harrison and Co. were so roughed up by the Pats that Polian, who just happened to be on the competition committee, had the pass coverage rules changed so wimps like Harrison (he's great but he's soft) could have more of an advantage. So a year later in 2004 with Troy Brown in the secondary the Pats won 20-3 against the Colts in the playoffs. But I digress...Hall is a great corner who has a nose for big plays.
S: Brian Dawkins, Eagles: The heart and soul of the Eagles this decade (Sorry Donovan, it's true), Dawkins is a beast in the secondary, laying out backs and receivers with hard hits while providing excellent pass coverage and good run defense support.
S: John Lynch, Buccaneers, Broncos: This guy is sort of like the Energizer Bunny and just keeps going and going and going after starting his career in 1993. A lot like Dawkins, Lynch has made the Pro Bowl every since 1999 except for in 2003. Big part of the Bucs turnaround from 1997-2002.
K: Adam Vinatieri, Patriots, Colts: Not only did he kick two game-winning field goals in the super bowl, but he also kicked five field goals against the Ravens in last year's playoffs...and probably made the greatest kick of all-time when he drilled a 45-yarder in a blizzard where he couldn't even see the goal posts, sending the Patriots into overtime where he again kicked a game-winner...on and into the snow.
P: Who cares, because our offense wouldn't be stopped. But I would pick Klaus Wilmsmeyer even if he didn't play this decade because with a name that cool he earns all-time punter status.
QB: Tom Brady, Patriots: Brady edges out Manning via his impeccable play in the clutch in leading the Patriots to three Super Bowls and also leading the Patriots to upsets over the AFC's top-seeded team three times in six seasons. I know you guys know I don't like Manning but I admit the guy is outstanding. I just like Brady in this slot a little more because of what he has helped the Patriots accomplish and for his sterling 12-2 playoff record.
RB: LaDainian Tomlinson, Chargers: As usual the instant historians wanted to crown LT as the best ever last year. He might someday be but for now let's just call him what he is and that's the best running back to play this decade.
RB: Shaun Alexander, Seahawks: Mr. Consistency. Before getting hurt last year this guy (I don't have the stats in front of me like I did earlier, but he had something like over 1300 yards and at least 16 touchdowns for about five straight years. Marshall Faulk and Priest Holmes were amazing for three years but Alexander's consistency earns him the spot.
WR: Marvin Harrison, Colts: It's ludicrous to compare this guy to Jerry Rice (see a post I made last January for why) but the guy is a lock for 1,100 yards or more and more than 10 touchdowns every year. He's a future Hall of Famer and the best to play the position this decade.
WR: Torry Holt, Rams: Holt edges out T.O. I think T.O. should be the best receiver this decade because his talent is freakish but I give the nod to Harrison and Holt because not only do they put up great numbers but they also do not hurt their teams the way T.O. has in the past with the Niners in 2003 and the Eagles in 2005 and to a certain extent the Cowboys last year. Look at Holt's numbers and he's kind of like Harrison-Lite.
TE: Tony Gonzalez, Chiefs: One of the best to ever play his position and he created the new age tight end a la Antonio Gates.
OL: Jonathan Ogden, Ravens: A beast who's headed to Canton.
OL: Larry Allen, Cowboys, 49ERS: Maybe one of the best linemen to ever play the game and one of the strongest...benches about 650 pounds I read.
OL: Orlando Pace, Rams: This guy should have received more Heisman consideration in college but linemen don't get the credit they deserve. Anyway, think of some of the outstanding Rams offenses this decade and then watch Pace play and it's easy to see one of the reasons they were so good.
OL: Willie Roaf, Saints, Chiefs: A model of consistency, Roaf was a huge reason Priest Holmes and Larry Johnson had the success they did.
OL: Walter Jones, Seahawks: Edges out Will Shields and Alan Faneca for the final spot. A monster on his side, he was possibly the biggest reason Alexander had the monster season he had in 2005. Run to his side and you have a chance to gain nice yardage every time.
DL: Jason Taylor, Dolphins: He's outspoken but he can back it up. Outstanding pass rusher who has great speed and can create big plays that you usually don't see a lineman make.
DL: Warren Sapp, Buccaneers, Raiders: Sapp gets the nod more for what he did with the Bucs than with the Raiders but this guy was a monster for a while and could rush the passer with the best of them while also being outstanding against the run. Outstanding speed for a man his size. Bucs fortunes started changing when they drafted him and Derrick Brooks in 1995.
DL: Michael Strahan, Giants: Favre may have laid down literally to give him a bogus quarterback sack record in 2001 but that aside, the guy is one of the best pass rushers in NFL history and was one of the main reasons the Giants went to the super bowl in 2000 and won the division in 2005.
LB: Ray Lewis, Ravens: one of the best to ever play his position. Some instant historians were already crowning him THE best a few years ago but I still like Lawrence Taylor and Dick Butkus more. But this guy is a phenom who can do everything on the field.
LB: Derrick Brooks, Buccaneers: I love the way this guy plays and I think he is one of the most underrated players in NFL history. No doubt in my mind, he was the best player on the 2002 team that won the super bowl. I think he scored four touchdowns that year, including one in the super bowl, which is crazy. He's got a motor that doesn't quit and like Lewis, can do just about anything on the field.
LB: Brian Urlacher, Bears: Chicago has bred some outstanding linebackers over the years and Urlacher is now in that fraternity, helping spark the team's revival the last few years.
LB: Zach Thomas, Dolphins: Yup, good call scouts. He's definitely too slow to play in the NFL...eye roll. This guy being drafted in round five goes down as one of the great draft day steals. Six pro bowls later he's established himself as one of the league's best defensive players.
CB: Champ Bailey, Redskins, Broncos: Clinton Portis is a terrific running back but I still think the Broncos shafted the Skins because it's rare that you can have a corner who can shut down an entire side of the field and that's what Bailey can do. He seems to be getting better with age and quarterbacks throw to his side at their own peril.
CB: Ty Hall, Patriots, Jets, Chiefs: Hall is not as dominant as Bailey but he has been one of the league's top cover guys for a long time. He was so effective and physical that the Colts and Bill Polian had to cry after getting stomped by the Pats in the 2003 AFC title game. Harrison and Co. were so roughed up by the Pats that Polian, who just happened to be on the competition committee, had the pass coverage rules changed so wimps like Harrison (he's great but he's soft) could have more of an advantage. So a year later in 2004 with Troy Brown in the secondary the Pats won 20-3 against the Colts in the playoffs. But I digress...Hall is a great corner who has a nose for big plays.
S: Brian Dawkins, Eagles: The heart and soul of the Eagles this decade (Sorry Donovan, it's true), Dawkins is a beast in the secondary, laying out backs and receivers with hard hits while providing excellent pass coverage and good run defense support.
S: John Lynch, Buccaneers, Broncos: This guy is sort of like the Energizer Bunny and just keeps going and going and going after starting his career in 1993. A lot like Dawkins, Lynch has made the Pro Bowl every since 1999 except for in 2003. Big part of the Bucs turnaround from 1997-2002.
K: Adam Vinatieri, Patriots, Colts: Not only did he kick two game-winning field goals in the super bowl, but he also kicked five field goals against the Ravens in last year's playoffs...and probably made the greatest kick of all-time when he drilled a 45-yarder in a blizzard where he couldn't even see the goal posts, sending the Patriots into overtime where he again kicked a game-winner...on and into the snow.
P: Who cares, because our offense wouldn't be stopped. But I would pick Klaus Wilmsmeyer even if he didn't play this decade because with a name that cool he earns all-time punter status.
Worst movie quote of all time?
A funny idea with limitless possibilities.
I'm going with Renee Zellweger's God-forsakenly annoying "You had me at hello" schtick at the end of "Jerry Maguire".
I'm going with Renee Zellweger's God-forsakenly annoying "You had me at hello" schtick at the end of "Jerry Maguire".
That was a damn good movie that had built to a great climax, and got positively derailed by a line that sprang straight off a Hallmark card.
Awful...
"Don't just stare at it, eat it..."
Another Republican officeholder is guilty of some naughty, naughty behavior in a public bathroom!
This time, it's ultra-conservative Senate backbencher Larry "Wide Stance" Craig of Idaho...
Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was arrested in June at a Minnesota airport by a plainclothes police officer investigating lewd conduct complaints in a men’s public restroom, according to an arrest report obtained by Roll Call Monday afternoon.Details are pouring in, so check out TalkingPointsMemo for updates...
Craig’s arrest occurred just after noon on June 11 at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport. On Aug. 8, he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in the Hennepin County District Court. He paid more than $500 in fines and fees, and a 10-day jail sentence was stayed. He also was given one year of probation with the court that began on Aug. 8.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Another asshole "finds Jesus" at the most convenient time...
I've said it before, I'll say it again: Nobody ever finds Jesus when they're getting their first BJ after the prom or winning the lottery...
Michael Vick:
"Dogfighting is a terrible thing and I didn't reject it. I'm upset with myself and through this situation I've found Jesus. I ask Him for forgiveness."Wonderful timing, Mike...
Bush's personal lawyer is quitting...
Oh sure, he's known formally as the Attorney General of the United States, but I think we all know where Alberto Gonzales' true loyalties lie...
Phillies reliever blows his lid at reporter...
The Phillies' Brett Myers was pissed off Saturday night after choking away a Phils lead and an opportunity to make up some Wild Card ground against the visiting Padres.
In the locker room after the game, things got really interesting.
Take a listen...
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Time to Fess Up
Having spoken less than favorably about pop music, I thought I'd bring you some of the 10% I found worth remembering through the years.
L i s t e n.
Not Fools, Though They Rush In
Past their prime in this one, but one of my long-time favorites. (Check out Alex taking a momentary vocal lead at the end.) Instrumentally speaking, too. From the early days. And the mid-years.
Friday, August 24, 2007
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Wanna know the biggest reason why I hate NASCAR???
No, it's not the sparsely-toothed hayseeds sitting in the stands during the races.
No, it's not the fact that they drive in cirles for 5 hours and call it a sport.
No, it's not the fact that the "sport" basically has no off-season.
And no, it's not because watching a race on TV makes watching a golf tournament feel positively pulse-pounding by comparison.
It's none of that.
It's because the drivers and the teams they drive for are the biggest bunch of corporate whores in the sports world.
Don't agree with me? Take a look at this story and tell me what you think...
No, it's not the fact that they drive in cirles for 5 hours and call it a sport.
No, it's not the fact that the "sport" basically has no off-season.
And no, it's not because watching a race on TV makes watching a golf tournament feel positively pulse-pounding by comparison.
It's none of that.
It's because the drivers and the teams they drive for are the biggest bunch of corporate whores in the sports world.
Don't agree with me? Take a look at this story and tell me what you think...
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Remembering a time when pop music didn't suck ass...
It seems like quite a long time ago.
"Overkill" by Men at Work
There are several close-ups of Colin Hay's crazy eyes in this video.
You've been warned...
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Least attractive love interest in movie history?
This is a tough one, since just about every movie that comes out of Hollywood nowadays has to include a romantic angle of some kind.
I initially thought of Matthew Perry in "Fools Rush In". I simply refuse to believe that I live in a world where a guy as unfunny and stupid-looking as him could ever land Salma Hayek.
Then, common sense prevailed and I remembered Kelly McGillis in "Top Gun". She wasn't even remotely hot, she had a guy's name (Charlie, if you're scoring at home), and Tom Cruise probably had better sexual chemistry with Val Kilmer in that film...
Some paltry choices for the Cyclones...
I like it when teams do this, I just wish Iowa State had come up with some better options for their new football helmets.
I'll go with #2...
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Best and worst NFL Uniforms...
This uniform stuff is endlessly fascinating to me. UniWatch has brilliant insights about the topic, as usual, but I wanted to compile my own list of the best and worst that the NFL has to offer.
For purposes of time, I'll just go through just the top (and bottom) five uni schemes in the greatest professional sports league on the planet.
TOP 5
1. Pittsburgh Steelers - I hate to admit it, but the Steelers are the gold standard (no pun intended) of NFL uniforms. Great colors, cool helmets. Close to perfect.
2. Oakland Raiders - Classic look even if the team wearing them are barely professionals.
3. Cleveland Browns - Thank God the city of Cleveland was able to keep their color scheme and uniforms after Art Modell moved the original team to Baltimore. They're a picture of tasteful simplicity.
4. Philadelphia Eagles - It probably looks like a homer pick, but the Eagles not only have a fantastic color scheme, they've got the best helmets in the game, bar none.
5. San Francisco 49ers - Underappreciated look, but the red and gold go really well together. Cool helmets as well.
BOTTOM 5
1. Buffalo Bills - Ghastly. Like Arena League cast-offs.
2. Cincinnati Bengals - Pick a design and go with it, already.
3. Arizona Cardinals - Uninteresting, uninspired, and inane since cardinals (to my knowledge) don't live in Arizona.
4. Atlanta Falcons - Michael Vick isn't the only embarrassing thing about that team.
5. Miami Dolphins - We get it, it's sunny down there...Teal is still butt-ugly...
For purposes of time, I'll just go through just the top (and bottom) five uni schemes in the greatest professional sports league on the planet.
TOP 5
1. Pittsburgh Steelers - I hate to admit it, but the Steelers are the gold standard (no pun intended) of NFL uniforms. Great colors, cool helmets. Close to perfect.
2. Oakland Raiders - Classic look even if the team wearing them are barely professionals.
3. Cleveland Browns - Thank God the city of Cleveland was able to keep their color scheme and uniforms after Art Modell moved the original team to Baltimore. They're a picture of tasteful simplicity.
4. Philadelphia Eagles - It probably looks like a homer pick, but the Eagles not only have a fantastic color scheme, they've got the best helmets in the game, bar none.
5. San Francisco 49ers - Underappreciated look, but the red and gold go really well together. Cool helmets as well.
BOTTOM 5
1. Buffalo Bills - Ghastly. Like Arena League cast-offs.
2. Cincinnati Bengals - Pick a design and go with it, already.
3. Arizona Cardinals - Uninteresting, uninspired, and inane since cardinals (to my knowledge) don't live in Arizona.
4. Atlanta Falcons - Michael Vick isn't the only embarrassing thing about that team.
5. Miami Dolphins - We get it, it's sunny down there...Teal is still butt-ugly...
UPDATE: This post has quickly become one of my favorites in almost 4 years of blogging. Let's keep the momentum going and turn our attention to the college gridiron, as many of my readers already have.
Keep it up!
Monday, August 20, 2007
BREAKING: MICHAEL VICK WILL PLEAD GUILTY
It's official, Michael Vick is a dogkilling piece of shit.
From ESPN:
Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick accepted a plea deal Monday and likely lengthy prison sentence to avoid additional federal charges in a dogfighting case that has driven his NFL career to a halt.UPDATE: Let the record show that Michael Vick's last game in the NFL was a 24-17 loss to the Philadelphia Eagles.
"After consulting with his family over the weekend, Michael Vick has asked that I announce today that he has reached an agreement with federal prosecutors regarding charges pending against him," Vick attorney Billy Martin said in a statement.
"Mr. Vick has agreed to enter a plea of guilty to those charges and to accept full responsibility for his actions and the mistakes he has made. Michael wishes to apologize again to everyone who has been hurt by this matter.
The terms of Vick's sentence are not yet known.
Have fun in jail, you dogkilling freak...
Oooooh!...That's good news!
Keith Olbermann's been kicking ass on MSNBC, so the suits at NBC have finally decided it's time to put him squarely in the spotlight:
"Countdown With Keith Olbermann" the highly rated cable news program, will be shown on network television on Sunday before a preseason NBC football game between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Pittsburgh Steelers. Since Mr. Olbermann, right, will have a regular role in NBC’s football coverage once the season begins — appearing as a co-host on the pregame show "Football Night in America" on Sundays — this weekend’s appearance of his cable show will give a wider audience a look at what he has been up for the last four years.Hopefully, this will lead to even bigger and better things for one of the very few truthtellers in TV news...
Friday, August 17, 2007
He's been around a long time...
...but he's still as good as it gets.
Here's Joe Satriani doing "Circles" from his "Live in San Francisco" DVD...
Have a great weekend, everybody!
An appeal to you folks that have been wrong about the war from the beginning...
I want you to watch this clip of Dick Cheney warning about the dangers of a full-scale invasion of Iraq back in 1994...
...and tell me what in the eight years between that interview and the U.S. invasion of Iraq made Dick change his mind so completely.
So help me God, if you people say anything even remotely resembling "9/11 changed everything", I'm going to punish you...
UPDATE: As recently as August of 2000, Cheney was reiterating his 1994 position on regime change in Iraq on Meet The Press...
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Elvis Presley died 30 years ago today...
...while trying to take a shit. What a romantic way for the King to go out!
Anyway, here's a classic.
P.S. Was anyone actually surprised he died on the toilet? His favorite food (peanut butter & banana sandwich) was basically a recipe for constipation!
Why didn't he just chain-swallow rubber cement and spackle sandwiches?
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Thirteen Light Years Long
- Astronomers studying the results noticed what looked like a comet with an enormously long tail. As they studied it further, they realized the tail was material that had blown off Mira and now stretched out a distance the equivalent of 20,000 times the average distance between Pluto and the sun.
- Martin said the discovery shows not only how matter is spread through the galaxy by fading stars but also points to the likely fate of our own star. The sun is expected to last another 4 billion to 5 billion years and then dissipate in a way perhaps similar to Mira.
Strangest behavior you've ever seen in a family pet?
This berzerk pug would have to be high on that list...
"Critical" update on Iraq surge will be written by the White House...
Please try to contain your laughter...
Administration and military officials acknowledge that the September report will not show any significant progress on the political benchmarks laid out by Congress. How to deal in the report with the lack of national reconciliation between Iraq's warring sects has created some tension within the White House.Well, they've been truthful about every other aspect of the Iraq war, why wouldn't we trust them one more time?
Despite Bush's repeated statements that the report will reflect evaluations by Petraeus and Ryan Crocker, the U.S. ambassador to Iraq, administration officials said it would actually be written by the White House, with inputs from officials throughout the government.
And though Petraeus and Crocker will present their recommendations on Capitol Hill, legislation passed by Congress leaves it to the president to decide how to interpret the report's data.
The senior administration official said the process had created "uncomfortable positions" for the White House because of debates over what constitutes "satisfactory progress."
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Not a good way to start...
The Van Halen boys are testing my patience mere hours after announcing their reunion tour.
Take a look at the front page of the band's official website. The band's David Lee Roth-era albums are lined along both sides of the page.
Notice anything odd about the covers for Van Halen and Women and Children First?
Here's what they're supposed to look like:
Take a look at the front page of the band's official website. The band's David Lee Roth-era albums are lined along both sides of the page.
Notice anything odd about the covers for Van Halen and Women and Children First?
Here's what they're supposed to look like:
Monday, August 13, 2007
OK, let's try this thing again...
The complete Van Halen reunion press conference will air commercial-free and uncensored nationwide on "Eddie Trunk Live" on XM Radio channel 41 between 6:00 and 10:00 p.m. EST on Monday, August 13. Eddie Trunk will then take live calls to discuss.
Van Halen will announce its reunion tour with David Lee Roth on Monday (Aug. 13) at 11:00 a.m. PST during a media event at the Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles. The tour is expected to begin in October and encompass 50 dates in North American arenas. The trek will feature founding Van Halen members David Lee Roth, Eddie Van Halen and Alex Van Halen, with Eddie's son Wolfgang on bass.
"I think it's going to take a lot of dead people to wake America up."
Who would you guess made this public request for another 9/11-style terrorist attack on U.S. soil?
Osama bin Laden? Kim Jong-Il? Hugo Chavez? Fidel Castro?
Nope.
This wish for the deaths of scores of Americans comes straight from John Gibson of Fox News...
Best-sounding live band you've ever seen?
At some point in time, I may have had a tortured internal conflict about how to answer that question.
Never again. Not after seeing Earth, Wind & Fire Saturday night at Koka Booth Amphitheatre, that is.
Wow. There's a reason Philip Bailey's nickname is "The Voice". These guys put on an amazing show, and if you miss the chance to see them, I pity you.
We haven't done this in a long time!
I give you the quote, you give me the movie, no cheating, no consulting the Google, no douchebag behavior.
I'm warning you, this one's gonna be tough...
UPDATE: Dr. Masse wins with a paltry 4 out of 10. As punishment, our next movie quiz will consist of nothing but subtitled French films...
I'm warning you, this one's gonna be tough...
1. "I want a woman that will arouse my intellect as well as my loins." Coming To AmericaGood luck!!!
2. "You know what I found in the closet? One hundred 1978 calendars. That's Rose. I'll tell ya, if 1978 ever comes back, we're in great shape." Easy Money
3. "People get married and then they do the most hideous, unbelievable things to each other." Honeymoon in Vegas
4. "Being a teenager sucks, but that's the point, surviving it is the whole point. Quitting is not going to make you strong--living will." Pump Up the Volume
5. "I thought moms we're supposed to be nice, and sweet, and patient. I know loan-sharks that are more forgiving than you." The Ref
6. "I'll be takin' these Huggies, and, uh, whatever cash you got." Raising Arizona
7. "This menstruation thing? It's a scam! Women are so lucky." Summer School
8. "Ya know, if I wasn't in uniform, I'd split your skull with the butt of this revolver, faster than you could say "police brutality."" National Lampoon's Vacation
9. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT PAIN IS!" The Silence of the Lambs
10. "If it bleeds, we can kill it." Predator
UPDATE: Dr. Masse wins with a paltry 4 out of 10. As punishment, our next movie quiz will consist of nothing but subtitled French films...
Sunday, August 12, 2007
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Saturday, August 11, 2007
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Friday, August 10, 2007
Rudy takes his 9/11 back-slapping a little too far...
...and it's pissing people off.
Speaking to reporters in Cincinnati, Giuliani said: "I was at ground zero as often, if not more, than most of the workers. ... I was there working with them. I was exposed to exactly the same things they were exposed to. So in that sense, I'm one of them."To learn a little more about what many of 9/11's true heroes think of Rudy, check out this eye-opener from the International Association of Fire Fighters.
Michael Palladino, head of the Detectives Endowment Association, the union of NYPD detectives, told the Associated Press that the mayor's record can't compare to those who spent 12 months sifting through toxic debris for evidence and human remains.
"As a result of their hard work, many are sick and injured. The mayor, although he did a fine job with 9/11, I don't think he rises to the level of being an equal with those men and women who were involved in the rescue, recovery and cleanup," Palladino said.
Oh, and don't forget this quote that was initially made about George W. Bush, but can easily be applied to the self-anointed Saint Rudy...
UPDATE: Here's the video. What a smug asswipe...
Thursday, August 9, 2007
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What Movie Do You Really Like?
I love Goodwill Hunting. Some of my favorite scenes. Particularly this one that never happened.
Overheard in the Bier Garden
Customer: What new beers do you have, Lee?
Lee, bartender: The Bishop's Finger.
Customer: What's it taste like?
Lee : Haven't had it.
Customer: I guarantee if it's called the Bishop's Finger, it'll smell and taste like the altar boy's ass.
(Entire bar loses it laughing.)
Great Combo
Check this out. This is the gratuitous Yes post promised to Anthony. Besides, it combines another of my favorites with Yes. Check it out.
Lucy's Kids Challenge Evolution Assumptions
Looks like the notion of sequential species development of human-like ancestors gets jumbled up a bit. I love it when our baseline gets re-arranged.
Beware, Creationists. There is nothing for you here. Try this.
Is New Orleans Economically Viable?
The city had about 455K population before Katrina. It's at about 200K now. How long do you think it will before it has 455k again? I'd bet it will be when I am in my 70's. I'm 42 now. The city held many people who cannot afford to move back and for whom there was no work in N.O. anyway. Therefore, Houston, you have a problem. The former NO'ers aren't leaving. They didn't exactly bring in an positive economic tide, eh?
And the economic effects of hurricanes and the geography of Louisiana are not confined to the SouthEast US.
- Some 25 square miles of Louisiana have been collapsing into the gulf each year for three-quarters of a century. A total of 1,900 square miles, roughly the area of Delaware, disappeared between the 1930s and 2005, and another 217 square miles were pulverized into liquid by Katrina and Rita. And that land loss, says Ted Falgout, who has run Port Fourchon for 28 years, poses a growing threat not only to the people who live here but also to the U.S. energy supply.
"We're on a train wreck here," says Falgout. "We have not designed the energy infrastructure - or any infrastructure - [to handle land loss]."
Be Embarrassed. Be Very Embarrased.
The Steelers have, without embarrassment apparently, announced the arrival of their new mascot. Steely McBeam. Can you say cheeseball? Love the franchise, despite what they did to my team in the '70's. Steely McBeam needs to go down quicker than Brett Farve faking the record-breaking sack for Strahan.
Keepin' it Real
Pacman seems to think the police have embellished his arrest record. How hard is it to distinguish between 6 vs. 2 arrests?
- "I haven't been arrested six times. I've only been arrested twice. I've been accused and people have put warrants out on me numerous other times, but as of today I'm on no probation, I haven't been charged with anything, so I'm just keeping my head up and make sure I'm doing everything to make sure I'm all right with myself."
- Jones' sixth arrest came in June when he was booked by Las Vegas police in the most serious case. Jones is under indictment there on two felony counts of coercion stemming from a February fight at a strip club that left a bouncer paralyzed.
Recidivism
It's worth recognizing, as we head into the (thankfully/mercifully) last phase of the Bush presidency - it will live in infamy - that pardons should be reigned in. The record of Clinton pardons could serve as an example. Having praised Arlen Specter recently, I will be interested to see if he sponsors or supports a bill like he did after the investigation into the Clinton pardons.
Mitt Romney doesn't know how many counties are in Massachusetts...
This is a really embarrassing exchange:
At the Wilton Candy Kitchen, which claims to be the "oldest ice cream parlor/soda fountain in the world," Romney told a crowd of mostly elderly residents that his son Josh was about to complete a tour of all 99 counties in Iowa.There are actually 14 counties in Massachusetts, but how could the former chief executive of the state possibly know that???
A woman raised her hand. "Yes, please!" Romney said.
"How many counties are in Massachusetts?" she asked.
"Thirteen," he said. A few feet away, an aide shook his head and said, "Ten."
"Oh, no, I think it's 13," Romney said. "Not like your 99."
He paused for a moment. "Yeah, if you count Dukes County..." he trailed off. "So, anyway, we have very, very few."
First tornado EVER hits Brooklyn...
...but pay no mind, there's no such thing as climate change, and you'd be a fool and communist to think otherwise...
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
A distinctive voice, indeed...
This guy sang lead vocals on Ace's "How Long", Squeeze's "Tempted", and Mike + The Mechanics' "Silent Running" and "The Living Years", but you probably don't even know who he is...
"Don't Shed a Tear" by Paul Carrack
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
NFL Predictions
Although doing this is about as easy as brain surgery I went through the NFL schedule and tried coming up with my yearly NFL predictions (Note: last year I picked the Panthers to win the NFC so my track record isn't great). Here we go...
AFC East
1. Patriots 12-4; 2. Jets 9-7; 3. Bills 8-8; 4. Dolphins 6-10
AFC South
1. Colts 13-3; 2. Jaguars 9-7; 3. Titans 7-9; 4. Texans 6-10
AFC North
1. Bengals 11-5; 2. Ravens 10-6; 3. Steelers 10-6; 4. Browns 4-12
AFC West
1. Chargers 12-4; 2. Broncos 10-6; 3. Chiefs 5-11; 4. Raiders 3-13
NFC East
1. Eagles 11-5; 2. Cowboys 11-5; 3. Redskins 7-9; 4. Giants 6-10
NFC South
1. Saints 11-5; 2. Panthers 10-6; 3. Buccaneers 5-11; 4. Falcons 3-13
NFC North
1. Bears 10-6; 2. Packers 8-8; 3. Lions 6-10; 4. Vikings 5-11
NFC West
1. Rams 11-5; 2. Seahawks 10-6; 3. 49ERS 8-8; 4. Cardinals 7-9
AFC WILDCARDS
No. 3 Chargers over No. 6 Ravens; No. 5 Broncos over No. 4 Bengals
NFC WILDCARDS
No. 3 Rams over No. 6 Seahawks; No. 5 Cowboys over No. 4 Bears
AFC DIVISIONALS
No. 3 Chargers over No. 2 Patriots; No. 1 Colts over No. 4 Broncos
NFC DIVISIONALS
No. 5 Cowboys over No. 1 Saints; No. 2 Eagles over No. 3 Rams
AFC CHAMPIONSHIP
Colts 31, Chargers 28
NFC CHAMPIONSHIP
Eagles 27, Cowboys 17
SUPER BOWL
Colts 34, Eagles 24
Boy, I hope I'm wrong but the Colts have a pretty easy schedule basically via their division and playing the NFC South. Took some defensive hits and losing Tarik Glenn is a blow but their offense is still pretty loaded and if they get homefield advantage it would tough to beat them...Please let me be wrong.
For Whatever Sandwich Wins the Contest Brian Started...
We may all have our own favorite, but for each of us there is a SILF.
What's the greatest sandwich of all time?
A seemingly simple question...until you realize there are a ton of awesome sandwiches out there.
First, I thought of the fabulous fluffernutter. Unfortunately, it's a tough sandwich to eat in large quantities, and since I haven't had one in over a year, how could it really be my favorite?
Next, I thought of the classic Italian hoagie, but again, I don't have them terribly often since my access to Wawa is maddeningly limited.
Finally, I got to this, the greatest sandwich of all time...The grilled cheese sandwich.
When done right, it's pure heaven. When done wrong, it's still damn good...
Speaking of guilty pleasures...
Before I unleash this doozy on an unsuspecting populace, I must thank John for doing a fantastic job while I was out of town. Good job, sir.
Now, here's a one-hit wonder from a band whose lead singer looks like a thrice-convicted sex offender with an absolutely ethereal mullet.
"Electric Blue" by Icehouse
Savor this moment...how often do you get to see a keytar???
Monday, August 6, 2007
Florida Republican tries to pay for hummer, blames his fear of "stocky black guy"...
John McCain's campaign manager in the state of Florida is in a bit of hot water for trying to pay an undercover policeman to give him a BJ.
Naturally, he's turning to the one defense that many ignorant Florida hayseeds will unite behind: Racism.
State Rep. Bob Allen told police he was just playing along when a undercover officer suggested in a public restroom that the legislator give him oral sex and $20 because he was intimidated, according to a taped statement and other documents released Thursday.Anyone else remember Susan Smith?
Allen has already denied any wrongdoing, but the recordings and documents offered new details about what he and police say happened on July 11 inside the men's room at Veterans Memorial Park.
"I certainly wasn't there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn't there to exchange money for it," said Allen, R-Merritt Island, who was arrested on charges of soliciting prostitution.
"This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park," Allen, who is white, told police in a taped statement after his arrest. Allen said he feared he "was about to be a statistic" and would have said anything just to get away.
Michael Irvin is still a horse's ass...
His Hall of Fame induction speech was a rambling, uniteresting mess. It's still stunning to me that he got hired to do TV work...
P.S. If any of you believe that Tom Glavine is a better pitcher than Steve Carlton, I will hire a large Italian gentleman to come to your house and smother you with his buttocks...
Saturday, August 4, 2007
The Specter of it All
"On Thursday, Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., shifted from deferring to the president on Gonzales' fate to calling outright for Congress to 'find a way to end the tenure of Attorney General Gonzales'." Good going, Arlen.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Bowl of Oatmeal Tried to Stare Me Down
And won. "But fortunately, I had the key to escape reality. ..Just tryin' to have me some fun. Well done. Hot dog bun. My sister's a nun."
Nice Rendition
I don't care what you think about jazz - it is one of the highest forms of musical expression. This guitar makes the point far more eloquently than I ever could. The piano is spot on also. It's a jazz version of the Beatles "I''ve Just Seen a Face".
Poll:
So if this had been a man, what would the sentence have been?
Would a male translator to a female mayor be given a two-year sentence under these circumstances?
A Bush I Really Like
Sam and gang are an amazing group. Check out the guitar (acoustic), mandolin and bass (electric/fretless) solos. Saw this done in Blacksburg and Norfolk in the last 5 years or so. Sam always puts it all into every show. He kicked ass at Floyd Fest last weekend, I am told.
Shorter and Fatter
Ain't that America, for you and me? Ain't that America, the land of the free? Of perhaps, America the shorter and fatter.
Giants of the world no more. We are shorter and fatter than ever. Move more, eat less America.
You Were Elected, Not Crowned, George
W seems to think that Congress owes him a bill "I can sign". Then sign and shut up, or veto you dumb Texas village idiot. You were not elected king and you have to accept oppositi0n or reject democracy. Wait.....you may have already rejected democracy. My bad.
Tancredo Shows His Stripes
All about the politics of fear. Tom thinks that another terror strike here would "cause a worldwide economic collapse.” Collapse? Tom, get a grip.
So, Tom T suggests bombing Islamic holy sites. This is even bad by Cheney-Bush standards.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Guilty Pleasure, More Than This
While I generally slam '80's music in favor of 60-70's or '90's music, there were some '80's tunes i liked. This Roxy Music tune (and entire album/disc) is an example.
Alas, Alaska's Shame
I like to think Stevens didn't come to politics corrupt, like his fellow under-investigation-Republican-Senator from Alaska, Lisa Murkowski, who learned it all from daddy Murkowski. Frank was crushed by two primary opponents after Alaskans had one term with him as Governor. No, I like to think that Ted Stevens was corrupted by years on seniority on the powerful Senate Appropriations Committee, which gets one used to taking home bacon and serving for a couple of decades in the Senate. And he did. I'd like to see Alaska get over the habit of electing Republican Senators.
What Are Your Top Three* Favorite Sins?
Lust Gluttony Greed Sloth Wrath Envy Pride
*Just pick two....lust goes without saying.Peace out, brothers!
Since we're hitting the road today, here's a little ditty that makes me think of being on the road...
See you next week!
P.S. John and/or Rich and/or Chris, you know what to do!
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Anti-Catholic bigotry in the GOP race for President?
It worked for George W. Bush in 2000, now it looks like a right-wing supporter of Gov. Mike Huckabee is bringing out the sharp knives for another GOP candidate, Sen. Sam Brownback...
According to the Catholic League, a letter "is being circulated among evangelicals in Iowa asking them not to split the Christian vote between former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee and Kansas Senator Sam Brownback; they are urged to vote for Huckabee, an evangelical, over Brownback, a Roman Catholic."Imagine if that kind of religious bigotry came from the camp of any Democrat running for President...
The letter was written by Pastor Tim Rude of Walnut Creek Community Church in Windsor Heights, Iowa. A Huckabee volunteer.
He writes that "Huckabee is an evangelical. He has not learned how to speak to evangelicals; i.e. Bush 41 & 43. He is one of us. I know Senator Brownback converted to Roman Catholicism in 2002. Frankly, as a recovering Catholic myself, that is all I need to know about his discernment when compared to the Governor's. I don't if this fact is widely known among evangelicals who are supporting Brownback."
P.S. To be clear, I'm not defending Sen. Brownback. He and I couldn't have a more different view of the world if my eyes were permanently affixed to my ass. Still, this is the kind of naked bigotry that doesn't belong in politics, as is the anti-Mormon stuff that other Republicans are tossing at another GOP shithead, Mitt Romney...
I am way too busy...
Sorry for the lack of any truly meaningful posts recently. To make up for it, I'll spin you a tune that'll make you feel good for the rest of the day.
"A Little Respect" by Erasure
P.S. This is probably a bad time to tell you I'll be out of town from Thursday until Sunday. Oops...